What Ever Happened to Conservatism?

From the “Clowns-to-the-left-of-me, Jokers-to-the-right; here-I-am, don’t-know-what-I-should-do” Department
I decided to dust off my Two-Headed-Monster hat to ask a question that has been bothering me since at least 2004.

Where are the Conservatives?

Why have they gone into hiding?

Too Many Secrets?

From the “Setec Astronomy” Department
I’m in the midst of reading a book by Dan Brown (the writer of the DaVinci Code) and I’m convinced that I never want to read another Dan Brown novel, ever.
Anyways, the book it titled Digital Fortress; I’m only 20% through the book, and I’m sure there are some plot twists awaiting me (I HOPE there are, because the plot and facts are awful!); but the premise is the NSA must deal with an activist coder who creates an unbreakable encryption code.

Now, this is deadly, and will lead to pure anarchy if this is mass produced to everyone-and-their-grandmother, because it will empower criminals and evil-doers to communicate freely, without fear of being uncovered.

As I’m reading this book, it is the EXACT OPPOSITE PLOT of the Movie Sneakers.

Three-Years-Probation

From the “And-for-his-next-trick…” Department
You gotta love Hollywood. Okay, no you don’t but our on-the-spot colleages at Independent Sources keeps an eye on Hollywood for us.
So when drunken-villiage-idiot Mel Gibson was charged with DUI and Disorderly conduct, what does he get?
Three-Years-Probation

Two-Headed Cameos

From the “Furry-Happy-Monsters-Feeling-Glad” Department
I’ve got nothing, so I decided to exercise my new Word-Press-dot-com You-Tube Skillz, and display an appearance of our favorite mascot.

You gotta love when famous people parody themselves.

Not Guilty

From the “This-Post-Is-Not-Written-by-reasons-of-insanity” Department
This is Andrea Yates, she confessed to killing her five children.

She went to trial, pleading not guilty. She was convicted, I believe, but it was overturned because of some mistaken testimony, and declared a mistrial.
Today, her second trial she was declared “not guilty by reasons of insanity”.

Noah Yates, John Yates, Paul Yates, Luke Yates and Mary Yates could not be reached for comment.